Conversations with dispatchers

maintainance in the way Dec 22, 2005

  1. maintainance in the way

    maintainance in the way E-Mail Bounces

    Well, I wont to share some of the "toung in cheek hummor" that wont be found in any GCOR rule book. Officially this sort of thing is frouned on I guess.....but. It can sure make the day go a lot quicker.
    The PR types would like to portray the image of efficientcie and profesionalism, which is true enough.
    But in the real world it's basically a controled catastrophie that dosent quite happin. Plus track maintanance is inhearently in conflict with train opperations. Hence, my screen name.
    (I actually have cards made up to that affect. With the slogan , "stoping trains is our only business".)
    Honnestly Im pretty darn good at getting my work done without stopping trains, but poo-poo happin's.

  2. maintainance in the way

    maintainance in the way E-Mail Bounces

    This happined on the Masson City Sub. We were distributing ahead of a tie gang. Or redistributing becouse the guy who was supposed to have it done is an idiot.
    Had the track no problem with the plan to work in the morning, clear for a few trains, then come back out the afternoon.
    I had just released my track warrent, cleared the train through on the Form-B and we were on the way to the closest quickie-mart.
    Which was also a great spot to look at pretty girls.

    Which we were fullly engrossed in when....

    Dispatcher; UP5467....... are you in emergency?


    Dispatcher; UP5467.... what seems to be the problem?

    UP5467; ...theres a tie laying in the track.

    Dispatcher; theres a tie laying in the track?

    UP5467; yah, theres a tie laying in the track. The conductor is moving it right now.

    > long steeley silence......

    Dispatcher; UP Copposki, would you know anything about a tie laying in the track?

    Me; Ummm,, no sir. No more than you do at this point.

    Dispatcher; Maybe you should find out.

    Me; Uh, yes sir. were on the way.

    UP5467; we got it, no problem.....

    Dispatcher; Foreman Copposki.........????


    Dispatcher; Do you plan on leaving any more ties on my railroad?

    Me; No sir........... I didnt plan on leaving that one on your railroad.

    UP5467; *laughter*

    Dispatcher; UP Foreman Copposki, do you plan on ever getting a track warrent from me again?

    Me; Well....... probebly not for the rest of the day, but I said I was sorry.

    Dispatcher; Can you accomplesh your work without stopping anymore of my trains?

    Me; Well, I dont wont my supervisor failing anymore of his anger managment classes.

    Dispatcher; Worked with him for a wile, huh?

    Me; Not that long.....

    Dispatcher; I dont wont him failing anymore of his anger managment courses either. Call me behind UP2961 south.
    dispatcher out...

    Me; behind 2961 south, rodger.
    Copposki out.....

    UP5467; *wheeewwww* (huge sigh of relief sound)
  3. Hytec

    Hytec TrainBoard Member

    That's funny. :D
    Glad to see all y'all can have a sense of humor when no harm has been done. Although it kinda sounded like Dispatch had to sound stern even with his tongue firmly planted... [​IMG]

    BTW M-I-T-W, Welcome to the Train Board, and Please keep up with the good stories. :cool:
  4. Flash Blackman

    Flash Blackman TrainBoard Member

    Good story MITW. Us modelers like them, too. [​IMG]

    Welcome to TB.
  5. BoxcabE50

    BoxcabE50 HOn30 & N Scales Staff Member TrainBoard Supporter


    More! Please!

    :D :D :D :D :D

    Boxcab E50
  6. maintainance in the way

    maintainance in the way E-Mail Bounces

    You'll be sorry..........
  7. maintainance in the way

    maintainance in the way E-Mail Bounces

    Thanks guys....

    My #2 sweetheart (#1 sweetheart's mom) says I should write a book on the subject.

    she got a real kick out of this one........


    We were in west Chicago, no track time day. Its a real busy spot, lots of freight backed up coming into and out of Proviso and Global plus coal trains plus commuter lines.
    Not uncommon.

    After a few days of it you sort of run out of busy work and just go with the flow.
    aka; screw off..... [​IMG]

    Which in itself is a lost art, once honned to perfection by not a few of my mentors.

    I was sitting in a ballast regulator (A1 heater) with my buddy when he saw "Chuck". Slinking around in a pick-up, obviously looking for some nice secluded spot to back into and take a nap.

    Theres some history between Chuck and mysef, none of it good.
    I dont really dis-like the man, but in a word, hes a dummy. He actually looks a bit like a dumbed down Chuckie doll, without the nice personality.
    Saddly, I have contributed over the years to our poor relationship. Which in itself would fill another thread or chapter in, as yet, un written book.
    But God its hard not to, the man's as miserable as they come, and a easy target too.
    Half the time he opens his mouth all I can do is try not to laugh at the mental immage of Buggs Bunny slapping him.

    Anyhow, as we watched him drift off into slumber, my partner mentioned he will probebly get busted. The Chuckster compromised his position by leaving the strobe light on.

    So I got on the radio.

    .....UP Holland........strobe.......

    Allright how many of you didnt get that????

    thats what I thought.

    My man Chuck spent the next 45 minutes frantically, even desperatly answering some foreman Strobe.

    "UP Holland for Strobe"............
    "Hello foreman Strobe"............
    "go ahead for Holland"............

    Then he started making these noises, that revealed the state of panic he was in.

    "IIIIIIiiiiiuuuuuhhhh.....Holland answering"

    It was sad. [​IMG]

    Finally my partner said, with some dificulty.
    "your strobe light's on chuck, calm down"

    Later that day Chuck accused me of, "doing that on purpose". To, "make him look stupid(er)".


    Like he needs my help......


    [ December 22, 2005, 09:28 PM: Message edited by: maintainance in the way ]
  8. chessie

    chessie TrainBoard Supporter

    I heard a funny one yesterday...

    The Tower was calling a train that was nearby. He kept calling and calling for them on various channels.... Finally, the crew came on and called the Tower, saying they had been sitting & waiting for 20 minutes waiting to leave. The Tower told the crew, "Well I've been calling you for 25-30 minutes, how come you didn't answer?" The crew said "I guess our radio is not working.... " The Tower said "Well, then how are you talking to me if your radio is not working?" [​IMG]

  9. Flash Blackman

    Flash Blackman TrainBoard Member

    MITW, you have a talent here. Better get that book going. Another nice one! :D :D
  10. maintainance in the way

    maintainance in the way E-Mail Bounces

    Thats just an inexperienced crew. Once they learn to wake up when someone is calling they will be fine.
    Untill they learn that they need to find a better excuse, like closing a door on the trailing locomotive or somthing. :cool:
  11. BoxcabE50

    BoxcabE50 HOn30 & N Scales Staff Member TrainBoard Supporter


    You definitely need to get this stuff all written down! It's too precious to be lost!

    :D :D :D

    Boxcab E50
  12. maintainance in the way

    maintainance in the way E-Mail Bounces

    Radios and foreman Frank......... [​IMG]

    Frank (unpronouncable last name) aught to be good for a whole chapter.

    Pretty easygoing guy usually. Great guy, at least I like working with him, so dont let the discription fool ya.
    He started on the Chicago & North Western, "back in the day". When the C&NW got to be employee owned Frank recognised a winner.
    You have to keep in mind over a cirtan period of time what took place.
    The stock bottomed at $12.00 a share but
    in the end I guess it topped at $118.00, after a two then three way split. So basically $12.00 could concievably grow into $708.00.
    Times howevermany shares. (he was after 1000 shares, all or nothing)
    I know this becouse at least twice a day he would get this 1000 yard stare and talk about how it all went wrong, what could have been.
    Frank is just a little guy, but he thinks BIG and honnestly hes good at it.
    But long story short no one would loan him the $9000.00 diferance. So he decided to parley his $3000.00 into $12000.00 gambeling.
    Which didnt work. Hes been mildly depresses since.
    But not depressed enough to stop spending a small fortune on scratch off's.

    Ive tryed to console him, that even if he had become wealthy on the stock option, he would have managed to screw it up one way or another.

    Anyhow we were supposed to move a tamper and a ballast regulator plus the pick-up north of Chicago.

    We were short handed so we hi-railed the pick-up and pulled the tamper with the regulator.
    Plus the truck wasnt ours. We had to borrow it from the division becouse the supervisor decided to reasigne our issue to his pet gopher. Who didnt leave the keys.
    The one we had was junk. We had trouble setting on becouse the hi-rail gear was almost froze up. Plus you couldnt lock the steering wheel like you were supposed to.
    So Frank constructed a nightmare contraption of a locking mechinism out of a bungie coard, and a bent spike shimmed with loosing scratrch off tickets. That worked as well as it sounds.
    Three quarters of a mile dosent sound very far. But its a long way to bounce to the next crossing wile pondering all of lifes mistakes.

    See there's the differance in people too. My cup is half full, ya know. At least we were north of the CN double diamond. Well Frank's cup is half empty, and unlike your average martini. Frank shouldnt be shaken, or stirred.

    Well bad days happin.

    All we had to do was talk to a guy we were supposed to meet and go from the Milwaukee sub out the lead onto the Kanosh, tie up and call it a day. We were sort of in the middle of nowhere, and nobody was answering the radio........
    Which convinced Frank, who had developed an intense hatred for that particular truck, he had a bad radio.

    No such luck.

    I dont know if he was sitting on the micraphone after it recoiled off the winshield.
    Or if smashing it into the dash all those times stuck the key on.
    Or if it got tangled up in the bungie coard.

    But Frank launched into a verbal blue streak tantrum of profanity that literaly affected the weather over lake Michigan.
    Its hard to do it justice, it was the stuff of legindary proportion. In a different world worthy of somthing encompusing the spectrum of a Nobel prize. Or dismisal pending a phsyiatric evaluation.
    It was awsome.
    Frank wasnt just talking on what he thought was a bad radio to some track supervisor who wasnt answering him.
    He was talking too, every horse that didnt quite make it over the finnish line. Every winning ticket he had, off by one number. All those ex-wives, and even that darn cat who confused his new overall for a litterbox.

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Over the years, on occasion some newhire will hear the legend and ask........

    "He really said..............?" :eek: :eek:

    "Oh yah.. ;)

    I was there....... :cool:
  13. HemiAdda2d

    HemiAdda2d Staff Member TrainBoard Supporter

    These are RICH!

    You GOTTA start a book; I'd buy a signed copy!
  14. BoxcabE50

    BoxcabE50 HOn30 & N Scales Staff Member TrainBoard Supporter

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    I used to love listening to the scanner. And hearing stuff like this ongoing. Should do it some day again. I'm missing some great stuff!

    :D :D :D

    Boxcab E50
  15. bravogjt

    bravogjt TrainBoard Member


    Welcome to the TrainBoard! Keep the material comming. I too would encourage you to write a book. :D

  16. Charlie

    Charlie TrainBoard Member

    Is there any way I can send a message to this
    board from AOL? And will this board take audio
    attachments? One of my railroad buddies sent
    me an actual recorded conversation between
    a BNSF train & the dispatcher. The conversation gets "walked on" by another
    Dispatcher & crew. There is a rather candid
    exchange by the first train!

  17. Stourbridge Lion

    Stourbridge Lion TrainBoard Supporter

    If you are refering to forwarding an email message, no that wouldn't work. You can cut-n-paste the email text into this topic. No attachments won't work either but if you can uploaded the audio file someplace onto the Internet you could post a link to it.

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]
  18. BoxcabE50

    BoxcabE50 HOn30 & N Scales Staff Member TrainBoard Supporter


    By mentioning AOL, does that mean you have it uploaded to a web page there? If so, try posting a link to it here.


    Boxcab E50
  19. BrianS

    BrianS E-Mail Bounces

    From a notebook dated 9/4/04:

    "CSX 9006 east on two clear at the place we used to call Godsend. Q110-04 out . . . . . CSX 9006 east on two clear at the new and improved Godsend. Q110-04 out."
  20. BrianS

    BrianS E-Mail Bounces

    A sanitized "Top Ten" list:

    10. "CSX AR dispatcha Jacksunville answerin’, ovah."
    9. "This train sucks today!"
    8. Conductor: "Gimmie three step."
    Engineer: "I’m already using a Conrail, ain’t that enough?"
    7. "I’m f-----’ sick of playing these g------ games. It ran a lot better when the trainmaster wasn’t here."
    6. " Clear here, clear there, clear everywhere Fostoria. Q137 OOOOUUUUT!"
    5. "There’s no hurry for your train. There’s not even a crew called until 5:30 in Garrett."
    4. "No offense to you guys since I don’t know who y’all are an’ all, but if you got the time take the signal at Fostoria and get the Hell off my railroad!"
    3. "There’s fifty of f-----’ you and only one of f------’ me."
    2. "I’m sick and tired of the Louisville side giving me all their g------ dead trains!"
    1. "Ya look good, but mine’s longer!"

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