Head Brakeman: A new man who does all his thinking with his feet. Target of criticism for the rest of the crew. He can generally add short colums of single digits if not rushed. Rear Brakeman: The conductor's stooge. A lazy fellow of average ignorance who bosses the head brakeman. Tries to act like an old head while silently contemplating on how he would do the work were he the conductor. Conductor: A grouchy individual void of soul, with a pig head and flat feet. Continually advising rear brakeman as to both handling women and running engines. Fireman: A mental midget with a pointed head. Head worshipper of the engineer. He is usually found talking to beanery hashers or trying to figure his time. Also coaches student brakies. Engineer: A marked success story(?), an authority of government and financial matters. Can usually write his own name. has a burning envy of road foreman, spending most of his time at the water taking slack or fooling around. Caller: An absolutely friendless character who takes fiendish delight in making calls too short when you want to eat and too long when you want to sleep. Passes the buck and sheds crocodile tears for the rawhided crew. Can not count to four to update the tapes. Dispatcher: Dot-dash expert wired for sound. Tonnage hog and side track artist. Sees all, knows nothing, poor guesser who's hobby is delaying trains Assistant Superintendent: Typewriter expert greatly impressed by his own importance. Loves to make tests and instruct students. Chief qualifications; learn to smoke cigars and look intelligent. Road Foreman: A rare blend of talent and tact. A job taken by those engineers with a marked inability to handle switch engines. Usually promoted at insistence of the customers to prevent further damage to their goods. Superintendent: A brakeman or Switchman who couldn't add short colums of single digits. Always offers criticism, and couldn't act like an old head because he didn't know how to do the work. Qualification: has name with a nice ring to it to go on the timetable. Switchman: A man dedicated to doing less today than he did yesterday. Looks his best when standing in the rain. Some of htese men, after years of training can spot a returnable bottle at 10 car lengths if the light is good. Can also carry three times his own body weight in copper, brass or aluminum cans, depending on season. Hope this brightens your day Mike
Mike left out the Freight Master who hobby of collecting stamps. He has quite a bunch already, there are two of each, one red and the other is black. He has "Fragile", "This End Up", and "Rush"......
