Is it time to quit?

I wouldn't say that it's time to quit your hobby as much as have a nice sit down talk with your significant other. We all have hobbies

 

Wyatt,

Just realize this too, I may be right there next to you in line getting the papers......... So you are not alone!

 

I went through a divorce 15 years ago. I married too young (20) and so did she. Luckily I had resisted having children so when we parted ways, it was 100x easier. It was still a very difficult time emotionally and took a long time to heal. Over that time, I prayed for the right woman to enter my life and I can say those prayers were answered in a bigger way than I could have imagined. Now we have two boys who are very much into N scale and thanks to this forum, a nice layout to run on. I can offer some other advice that may apply or may not. Marriage must contain compromises and never get to the point where you pick trains over her. She may feel that way some times.

To have no regret, give it 100% effort and hope for the best.

Everyone has a different situation and I hope for the best for you. Keep your eye on your future and try not to do anything that you'll regret.

 

Hey Wyatt.

Sorry to hear of ongoing trouble (to which I can attest as a friend). Have no real advice to offer but willing to listen if you want to call.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cutting_off_the_nose_to_spite_the_face

 

She did that or did you?

 

I think Wyatt did it in a controlled rage, probably to make a point, although we can debate its effectiveness....... (I say controlled, because you notice he didn't go after anything that would have had collateral structure or train damage....or, maybe it was because it is the closest thing from the door to the house)

In pure model railroad terms, the good news is, he builds quick and can replace/repair it if that is what he decides. For most of us, it would definitely be a layout ender as they are too painful to build twice. That helix ran flawlessly. Heck, he could probably go into a side biz as "Helixes by Wyatt." They are that good.

Bad news is Wyatt could have sold that, if need be, to pay ongoing expenses. And, while it does happen, it would be sad if one of the best model railroaders we have could possibly be forced out of the hobby by choice or life circumstances. To answer Wyatt's original question, knowing him as I do, and his work, somehow I just can't see him quitting. Its been too big a part of his life.

 

Maybe this is a good time to point out to those entering the hobby that it may be wise to build your layout in modular sections or "dominos" as Dave Barrows called them. That way when it is time to pack them up to get out of Dodge, the layout moves a lot easier.

 

I read through this soap opera and I would like to mention that one of the most serious issues with our hobby is building layouts that are simply too large. I've built them in all sizes and the small to medium ones are more enjoyable to me. In this case we seem to have a large layout not completed and it is an eyesore to the wife. Don't know all the issues with them of course, but just looking at the helix gives me pause. What if this had been build on a 30" one level shelf? Would this thread be here today? Hope you can work this out. Here is a quote from another site I saw this morning, "Only times I got that excited was after each divorce!" I can vouch to this statement as well.

 

Interesting topic in and of itself.

My old layout was 11 x 17 and designed to move in 3 big pieces, each about 4 x 10-12. A pain to move (twice) but given the few times I moved it, probably worth fewer connections to be remade. Obviously, the more times you know you have to move (business transfers) the lower the size for portability.

Looking at Wyatt's layout, the linear nature would be portable to many locations. I know he is neat with wiring, and bet it could be broken down into 2 x 8 or similar if he wanted. However, I also know he is of the mind that it is easier to build new than to try to salvage parts of old layouts. I would presume he would salvage the track not ballasted (atlas c55 probably preserves better than others with its bendiness) and certainly the turnouts, tortoise, etc.

 

I must agree with jpwisc on the wisdom of using well constructed sections or modules. I had to take down my old pike because the gremlins that had taken up residence in it after four moves made it no fun to operate. Despite my addressing the problems after each move, it made it to the point where there were so many gremlins that could not be eradicted completely. The somewhat less than solid construction of it did not help, either (see a certain locked topic here for more on that one--it did not involve my old pike, but I saw much of it in that topic).

This time, the pike is made up of solidly constructed sections. I have operated sections of it as a Plywood and Pacific to make sure that all original, developing and potential gremlins are addressed. One section has passed that point and another is going through it.

 

My wife has tolerated my hobby since before we were married, but I have certainly allowed it to impact us negatively at times. We have a "train room" and she has never disputed it's use, but I clearly bit off WAY more than i could chew over the years. A 10x12 room ended up with an incomplete twice around the room with center peninsula configuration (never operational) - you had to step into the room, close the door then proceed to get whatever wrapping paper, crafts, etc that was stored under the layout.

One day I felt the urge to rip out the peninsula, which I was actually very proud of. And I felt so much better. But I still had too much layout. A few years later I cut out a yard - literally, leaving a gaping hole - and I felt so much better again. It seemed the less layout i had the more motivated i felt and the less impact it had on our home. Most recently, about two years ago, I decided to rip everything out and build some 16"x48" modules and grow from there. Again, I felt so much better. I guess my point is that for me, less has proven to be more, and I think my wife has really appreciated me scaling back the trains so that we could make use of the trainroom for other purposes as well.

The modules are coming in handy now, though, as we have sold our home and are moving. After patching 20+ holes in the walls, retexturing, and repainting the room, I have become a permanent convert to standalone modular benchwork. The bonus is that it is less restrictive to the room, so my wife can suggest something like hosting an exchange student or perhaps helping someone out in need for a while and not worry about them sharing a room with boxes spilling over with wires and scenery material while sleeping under benchwork or something. Instead, we can simply move the modules out into another room and we're good to go. I think that has improved her attitude about my trains a lot and eliminated how I feel about myself when the mess is everywhere.

I think this is an unfortunate thread, but one that is very real to a lot of us. I'm sad for Wyatt (don't know him) and hope that regardless of what happens that he is the better for it.

 

I really appreciate all the great comments and thoughts.

As I look back on the past week, yeah,, maybe I should not have went hulk on the poor helix.

Everyone has been very kind with suggestions and words. That means alot.

I am going to fall back to a prior fighting position and come up with a new OPORD.

I am requesting of the moderators to close this thread. Enough gloom,, it is freaking christmas,,LOL

Wyatt

 

"maybe I should not have went hulk on the poor helix"

argg Now we know...Best wishes at what ever avenue you decide to go down. I have no advise, since it looks like plenty has been given. May the force be with you...